Hi. I am domestic abuse survivor. I was married to pure and living hell for 14months. He did everything to me from silent treatments, to emotional manipulation, blaming, projecting, to physically restraining, slapping around, throwing and breaking objects, attempted rape, violent behaviour, uncontrollable rage, pretty much every textbook behaviour of a narcissistic psychopath. I got out of it and i feel lucky. It took me two whole years to heal. I underwent ptsd, depression, got through it all without professional help.
I got married to my second husband, who seems nice but his father is very verbally abusive to his mother. Every person in their home has a history of failed relationships. My husband has most of the times been very nice to me. With the exception of a few times.
When i got divorced from my first husband, it was after that i realised that i need to read up on it and sure enough my instincts were dead on right. I discovered my mother was also a narcissist and i soo wish i’d have this information before so that i could have made better decisions about my life and not have been manipulated by my mother throughout my life.
I truly believe that knowledge is power.
Now i strive to work on my own and never depend on anyone. It has been an eye opener. From a person who believed and trusted the whole world was a good place to finding out such evil in this world. It was certainly an eye opener.
The most important thing i’ve learnt about life is that you should love your own self before giving it to another. Otherwise you’ll just be jerked around your entire life. I wish this is what they taught in schools from an early age. I would’ve avoided so many mistakes.
Now i definitely feel im walking wide awake for the first time. Careful of everything. Still accepting the good in the world but only after thouroughly analyzing it. I wish id known this before . Even right now i cant totally cut off my mother, shes my parent afterall. But i now know what she thinks, i back off if its going in a direction anything but positive. I have a better control of situations. I back off from people who are negative.
Although my story might be random to you. This is the first time i’ve told the entire thing to someone in a long time. Thank you
I was physcially beaten by my mother for any and everything i did except studies during my childhood. Which sort of makes me a workoholic now. I want to do my best in everything. I have more appreciation of life and more gratitude, less expectations from life. My childhood wounds hadn’t healed. But after my divorce, the information liberated me. It gave me answers to my questions. I no longer carry my past with me i feel. I’m at peace.
I want to do more reach my potential. Im a doctor and i have never given up hope. During my divorce i passed a medical exam. During the most severe time of my depression along with ptsd i cleared my post graduate examination. I want to reach new heights. Life is short. But my current husband shares a different approach to life.
My current husband and his family isnt much supportive of my career. Lets see what happens. Im not one to give up nevertheless.
Knowledge truly is power. You are right on. You learn what you live. It’s no shock to me that you married someone like your mother. You didn’t know any better. I think you are right-learning about narcissists in school would be so incredibly valuable. I am so glad you have survived, overcome and managed to keep a positive attitude. Keep being a light- the world needs more of that. – Kate