3 failed suicide attempts…. then finally enlightenment

Recently, I have found the “SECRET” for living a fulfilling and successful life.

I have developed a mindset strong enough, where I no longer need medications or help from any counselors or therapists. I BELIEVE in myself now, I am confident in who I AM and I enjoy waking up every single day to the world around US. This is extremely hard to talk about and I am tearing up writing this post as we speak. This post is to share my story of the pain and suffering I have endured for the pat 24 years. I will attach a picture of what I looked when I found who I actually was and was capable of.

I am fine with my TRUE self. I am tired of the facade I have been putting on.

An amazing gentleman by the name of Setema Gali Jr. came into my life recently and told me to listen to his podcast. The podcast is called “YOUR Daily Revolution.” I HIGHLY RECOMMEND YOU LISTEN TO IT. It gave me the insight and strength to post this today. I noticed that through one of these podcasts, that I was still living in fear. The day for deception is over my brothers and sisters. The day for the TRUTH, the WHOLE TRUTH, and nothing BUT the TRUTH has come. I learned that in this EXACT moment of time, that the TRUTH will set me free.


From a very young age I had been through hell and back 100 times over. With these experiences, I always knew that I wanted to help people. I never wanted anyone to have to go through the pain and suffering that I had to endure. I have had ADHD, anxiety, and depression for as long as I can remember, along with being on hundreds (and I mean HUNDREDS) of different medications to “numb” my pain. This is all I had ever known since an extremely young age. I never questioned, “Why?”. I just took the medications that were prescribed to me, because I thought taking them would solve all of my inner demons and would allow me to feel “normal.” Speaking at a personal stand point, I always yearned to be accepted. It did not matter whether positive or negative events followed, as long as I felt like other people liked me. Through these experiences I have been put through boarding schools, therapeutic boarding schools, and a wilderness program twice.

In my college years I used drugs and alcohol in order to share an “experience” with another human being. I found this was the only way for me to make friends and connect with somebody. I found myself only hanging out with certain people when I was on said substances. We were only “friends” because we shared these said “experiences” while being under the influence. At parties, I thought I had to get as drunk as I possibly could, in order to talk to other people, ESPECIALLY GIRLS. I never had any confidence and thought I was an UGLY human being. I hated who I was and what I looked like. I used these substances to cover up my problems and masked my true self.

I have lived in a very dark place my entire life. I have always been confused. It got to the point where I tried committing suicide on three separate occasions. Thank GOD they all failed. I thought that if nobody could understand me then there was no point to live. Luckily, two of these failed and one of my best friends got me in time before I could hurt myself during the last one. I want to take to time to thank YOU Jackson. YOU are a huge part of why I am still alive

I was never happy until I found out who I really was. This happened on the day of December 27th, 2015. On this day, I was able to liberate myself from my ego, through an induced spiritual awakening that opened my eyes to what is TRULY happening in the world. I found how TRULY connected we are as human beings. I found that LOVE is what brings us, as humans, so close to each other. Not a “substance.”

With this newly found mindset I have established, people think I am now “crazy” just because they have never experienced the TRUE me. All of my college friends are worried because I have “changed.” They don’t like this version of ME. But here it is. This is ME everyone. If being so driven and so inspired to change billions of lives make YOU so uncomfortable, that you think I am crazy, then BY GOLLY call me whatever you like.

I’ve come to terms that not everyone will understand MY journey. That’s okay. I am here to live MY life, not to make everyone understand.

With the help of meditation, praying, and spending time with my family, I have been able to discover why I was put on this Earth. That reason is to help inspire people all over the world regardless of age, sex, or religion. With the aid of these three things, I have been able to unlock my true potential. Since the above date, I have been off all medications and have never been able to think so clearly. I came to realize that I don’t need a crutch as long as I power through each obstacle that is presented in my life.

I will leave YOU with this. The average life expectancy of a man in the 21st century is 73 years. The average woman in the 21st century has a life expectancy of 79 years. Subtract this number from your current age and notice how many days you might have left until then. Notice that it isn’t a very high number. Become aware and become passionate about your dreams. If this is TRULY how old I live to be, then I have only 17,885 days to leave a legacy on this Earth. YOU only live in this world once, so why not make something out of it?

If YOU want to break free from the chains of SCARCITY and implement a new life of PROSPERITY, then my GRIZZSPIRATION page is the SAFE place YOU have been looking for.

It’s time to open YOUR eyes brothers and sisters. Become who YOU want to be. Not who someone else wants YOU to be.



Grizzspiration's photo.
It took me a long time and a lot of years to learn that I had the power within myself to be whatever I wanted to be.  I am so happy you too have gotten there.  It’s liberating and scary all at the same time because you finally learn that you are what you decide to be and if you end up doing nothing- it’s your own fault.  I’m glad you failed your suicide attempts.  The World need you.  I’m even more glad that you’ve found the power to be okay with who you are and make no apologies for it.  The World is always going to have something to say…. but if you don’t have a few critics and haters, you’re doing something wrong.  Thank you for sharing your story and being so honest.  I know you are going to help a lot of people. – Kate

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