It was my first day of college. I was scared when all the seniors sat outside in the amphitheatre and called us for ragging. Since there were more of us and less of them we all walked away. But that day got me scared of the new place. Then came the first of the events of the college. They called us for auditions and me as expected didn’t go. I was really scared. Somewhere, sometime someone said either you give ragging for the seniors to know you or let your work speak for you. I tried to muster the courage and go for ragging but somewhere deep inside I shouldn’t. So I started to work hard but the course was not something I was familiar with. One of my friends then said to me ask the council they r really helpful. There were many people in the council I dont know why I messaged him but it was the start of something new. For me as a fresher I was in a place where everyone spoke highly of him. So I found myself liking him. No one in my college knew of this only my friends.
At first I thought there was something wrong with me and I started to loose confidence. I thought why would he want to talk to me everyone hates me. He too would hate me. So I stopped trying to talk to him and stayed silent. Never once in all this I considered the possibility that they weren’t mad at me but jealous of me because the teachers didn’t like the toppers that much. I never thought he would know me or remember me but I was so wrong. The more I started to see my surroundings the more I started to observe him the more I found something wrong with him. Every evening for dance club he used to sit with his friends and sometimes they would dance or just sit around. In all this time some of my friends figured I liked him. They teased me whenever he was around and I would blush. I thought he knew I liked him. But what I didn’t know was the difference in his walk and his language around me wasn’t because he hated me. But there was something else. All along this time someone else knew.
But that didn’t help me I missed him more. I started studying more. Then somehow I dont remember how but I opened Instagram account and started posting there. It helped me get him out of my mind but only for sometime. I still loved him more than anything. And now was worse coz I thought he liked me. Some said for me to get over him some told me to go tell him. Thank god I didn’t tell him it would have been disastrous. My work really spoke for me and so did my character. Seniors know of me, not as someone they can mess around with but as a good person. I am glad I didn’t let them rag me. I learned that people were intimated by me coz you dont get beauty and brains together anymore. No I never became over confident but I started to reach out to people. I started seeing things from their point of view and understood myself more. In my class I still dont have a best friend I can hang out with but I found the beauty in everything.
I still love him and is till wait for us to talk but I know I am beautiful and I’ll survive. It doesn’t happen in a day but a long time. I wished to walk away I tried to. But each time something pulled me back I dont know if it was him or my imagination whatever it was it taught me not to give up. Not only he required time but I required time as well. I have my studies to focus on and he too needs to work harder for this is his last year in college. I know we will meet again. That day we both will be ready to fall in love again. From the First moment I saw him I felt as if I knew him and he was home. But I am glad I didn’t do anything stupid. This is my story of how I fell in love and found the love for myself. I can’t thank him enough for making me love myself. Everyday I learn new truths about myself . All thanks to him. @silverlight1502
I think most of us have a story or two about being young and in love. It’s always amazing how deeply our emotions can make us feel and sometimes we feel it so much that it physically hurts. Don’t worry he probably wasn’t your first and he certainly won’t be your last. These experiences are teaching you about yourself and shaping you into the woman you will ultimately become. That is priceless. – Kate