Hello All Who May Read This,I’m Matt, 23 years young, Boston-made, California-raised. I have been blessed in my life by the crazy universe we live in time and time again. Last year, I took some (well deserved) lumps. After a a whirlwind of limbo and back and forth games, I officially hung up my cleats. I was fortunate and talented enough to be drafted by the NY Mets in 2011, just 4.5 years ago. Back then I was 18 and on top of the world. Now, I’m 23 and just now figuring out what the hell I’m actually doing with my life (I think….maybe).
In April of last year, I made a booboo. I got into a fight with an ex who proved time and time again to me that I should just go when I had “that feeling” (but love is a pain in the ass, so I didn’t). After said fight, I decided to cope by taking some prescription painkillers..not the best move really. I had a few, 3 heavy dosage Klonopin to be exact. Then, my brilliant self decided to go to my friend’s where we successfully pounded 5 bottles of wine before he and I also got into a little tiff (I was on fire this night, clearly). After we fought, I grabbed my keys and went to head out as my friends frantically tried to stop me. Of course, they weren’t successful because I can be a stubborn piece of work at (many) times.
I proceeded to race home upwards of 60mph out of anger, sadness, and a lack of a sense of direction in life eating away at me. I crashed my car after falling asleep behind the wheel of my 2007 Ford Brocus. My car was totaled beyond recognition, and I did not wear my seatbelt for this ride (told you, on fire). My head hit the windshield on 2 separate occasions, turning it into a spiderweb of glass shards. At impact, I was unconscious and immediately rushed to the ER as soon as someone (I don’t know who) saw me and reported the crash.
I woke up in ICU late the next morning to my Mother, sister, and ex girlfriend crying their eyes out. I knew I messed up. “Great,” I was thinking, “I am so royally screwed on this one.” And then I looked at them all again in my drugged up, numbed up state of being and I saw how much THEY hurt because of my selfishness and immaturity. Flash forward to last month, December, and I get my sentencing from the courts. 60 days in jail, half time. Reaistically, 30 days in the clink. Well, I ended up doing 10 and getting out early, now I’m on house arrest until Feb 6th (not that anyone really cares about that part).
I felt so incredibly lost in life until I hit 23 at the end of September when I started putting my Humpty-Dumpty self back together again. I got a new job, as a janitor, actually. Worked my ass off, earned a promotion and then the sentencing came and I felt like I was going to lose everything all over again. Boy, was I wrong. I gained so much insight through my experience that lasted these last 8-9 months, I wouldn’t take anything back if I could.
You see, perspective is the key to happiness in life, and peace is found through understanding. I don’t know what I would be up to if I didn’t have my wake up call last year, but, it would not be what I am FINALLY doing now.
On Valentine’s Day, my non-profit GrüvIt will launch and I get to work with some of the best people on the planet, going out and helping other people’s lives get just a tiny bit better every opportunity we get. I have my beautiful family with me still, and I am still alive to make things better and reach my true potential before I do go. In my 23 year old professional opinion (you should hear the other stories, really), I honestly believe that “bad things” are only “bad things” to people with “bad perspectives.” You can see something as an easy way out, or a way to say “poor me” but the pity party is always a party of 1. Life is such a beautiful thing, and as human beings we are able to do things that are generally unthinkable, if we really put our energy into it. Put your vices down, and pick your spirits up.
I made the decision to take my self-broken life, flip it back to being right-side-up, and go forward with myself knowing that I can kick ass at anything I want to. I challenge you to rediscover the belief that You can too.
I changed my life.
Much Love, Budge
Hey Matt! There are a few things I think are pretty bad-ass about your story. 1- You are alive! 2- You take responsibility for where you are at and the decisions you made for good or bad. 3- Your perspective is awesome! I totally agree with you on your perspective…. a while back during one of the most dark times of my life (post rape and not coping well) I was making crappy decisions too with my method of coping. Fast forward a few years later and not only is that one of the best “terrible” things that happened to me but I wouldn’t change any of it. It’s been a really rough road but one that could not have been paved any other way. I have learned so much and am a totally different character now than I was then. Funny how life experience does that to a person….. and on top of it all, during that time I was working to start my own company….fast forward to three (successful) companies later…. here we are. There is always beauty to a storm- if you choose to see it. Thank you for sharing your story. Also, congrats on the non-profit! You’ll have to keep us up to date with how things are going. – Kate